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花 言 葉 × h a n a k o t o b a
seems that soon i'll wither away without knowing the answer
One Each At A Time - Aoi/Uruha (1/1) 
Apr 23 09
Title: One Each At A Time
Chapter(s): 1/1
Author: xxshamisen
Genre: Romance
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Pairing: Aoi/Uruha
Disclaimer: Don't own anything except for my stories.
Summary: With little steps, they try to close the gap they had not realized was already there.
Comment: I love BIAB08. ♥ Also, this one's for #28 [Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou?] of 30_romances.

Neither of them could quite figure out how they drifted apart.

It wasn’t that Uruha didn’t care enough. At the back of his mind he did worry about the friendship he had with Aoi, just as he worried for his friendship with Ruki, Reita, and Kai. But what good is worrying for such a thing when they saw each other every single day, anyway? Besides, they were busy, work would always come first before anything else, and Uruha always had other matters to attend to. Maybe his personality mix just wasn’t something appropriate for a friendship – he’d always been a little bit timid, more or less passive, and to tell the truth, very much closed to everybody else. But of course, Uruha found nothing wrong about that. Everybody was different.

Or maybe Aoi was just expecting too much. He’d never been clingy to any person before but there was just something in Uruha that made him unsatisfied with the way things were. He wasn’t a generally friendly person either – he also kept to himself numerous of times and was always too shy to make the first move to say hi. Making an effort was futile; he had far too many things to finish and far more important issues to think about. Yet somehow, at the end of the day, thoughts about Uruha would swim in his mind, persistently asking how he’s been, what could he be doing, and whatever the hell went wrong that they don’t even acknowledge each other as much anymore.

And so when he saw noticed Uruha walking towards his direction, Aoi couldn’t make himself ignore the younger guitarist. With a forced nonchalant smile on his face, he continued on his way, not uttering a single word but waving slightly as a greeting. He wished the other man didn’t have to put those huge sunglasses so that at least he could see him looking back.

But he didn’t wave back, or even seemed to notice Aoi. The smile bitterly faded on his lips as he made his way to the next room, wishing he didn’t care too much.

It was insane how hectic the band acted even inside the tour bus. Which is why there is little to no coverage of their activities whenever there, because all anybody would see are the boys either playing their instruments or staring down a few pieces of paper. The ride to wherever place they have to go was always quiet, with the exception of guitar and bass sounds, and the occasional exchange of words between Ruki and Kai. Aoi, on the other hand, would always be doing nothing. He made sure that everything he needed to do or practice would be finished the day prior, and all he ever had to do on the tour bus was to sleep or relax. None of the four dared disturb him during these times, as a sign of respect.

This time though he simply had his elbow propped by the window sill, staring out in the streets, making mental maps of the places they’ve passed. He remembered how these were the very same streets they went by every year, but every year they passed here as very different persons. Not just in terms of the looks and perhaps even the music, but they were just… different.

Of course when they were starting out, they were nothing but shabby young adults, their faces smudged with white and black make-up and playing their instruments along these sidewalks, singing their lungs out as if there was no tomorrow. How after every show they’d go back to grovelling for food and stealing juices and cigarettes from one another. Aoi could only smile at that. Way back then, they were closer together, with nothing in mind but playing for themselves and having their stomachs half-filled at least when tomorrow comes.

Now they were just drowned with paperwork and bustling people all around them, stage lights blaring on their faces and uncomfortable costumes constricting their already lean frames. And he wondered where the ties between these five (or six; he did miss Yune at times) – once ambitious – young men had really gone; if it’s already gone with the wind, cut into pieces and forgotten already, or maybe still there, just waiting for a little pull.

It wasn’t just Aoi who thought that, to be honest. However, when Uruha decided to pull on that thin string, the older was already sleeping.

The twenty-third of August came, and it started to rain in the middle of the performance. For a moment there he worried for the fans who were getting wet from the weather, but his attention was once again snatched by the guitar in his hands. To think about when to throw his head next or when to smile next was actually much harder to do. Although he could flash his teeth and do some silly (or sexy, depending on what kind of person looks at it) gestures with his hands or hips as he played, Uruha could safely say he didn’t enjoy doing those things much. If he could only stand there or sit somewhere while he played, then playing the guitar would actually be more enjoyable.

Uruha let his eyes roam to the other side of the stage. He wondered how Aoi could look and act so full of energy when playing alone was exhausting. Maybe it was because of the rest that he had back at the tour bus, or maybe Aoi grew in a way that Uruha never noticed. Either way he couldn’t trouble his brain of those thoughts, not here, not now. He had to focus.

When Aoi moved to the center of the stage, Uruha found himself walking there as well. The desire to know what drives Aoi was stronger than he thought, and he was seriously about to ask the older about that, regardless if it was in the middle of the song. They knew how to play with just their fingers anyway, not necessarily with their minds too, and they never seemed to mess up even with that.

As he was about to open his mouth to speak, Uruha was simply greeted with a toothy grin by the older guitarist. “Been a while,” he also caught the older say despite all the noise.

By that time everything he pretty much wanted to ask just slipped from his mind, and simply replied to that grin with a bright smile of his own before they went back to their respective positions.

Though their hearts were satisfied with another job well done, even after all these years, something that they couldn’t get quite used to is the fatigue that always dawned on their muscles after every performance. Aoi stood by the doorway, scanning the small room for even just a little area where he could rest his beat-down body. But with Ruki and Reita sprawled on the floor – the remaining space of it littered by their soaked outfits and other accessories – and Kai occupying the couch and soiling it with his heavy sweating, there wasn’t much choice but to just lie down on the bed next to Uruha, hoping that he wouldn’t stir when the mattress dipped in his weight.

Aoi held down his breath as he slowly positioned himself straight on the bed but to no avail – his actions were far too clouded with exhaustion to ever be accurate, and ended up nuzzling against Uruha’s already cold neck, hand brushing on the younger’s bare stomach. Uruha only moaned softly, but other than that, nothing. Aoi’s heart beat stabilized as he closed his eyes.

Uruha slowly opened his eyes to find a mop of dark hair on his chin and a hand by his stomach. Facing towards the other, he observed Aoi’s peaceful sleeping face with rather drowsy eyes. He shuffled in the bed so that he lied on his stomach just like Aoi. “Been a while,” the younger whispered quietly, and he could swear Aoi’s lips twitched into a small smile, but that could very well be his imagination playing tricks on his tired mind. With that, Uruha’s eyes slipped close.
(Deleted comment)
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
D: Nuuuuuuuu no bad cavities for Ashe~ >_<;; Only good ones, ahah.

Sankyuu for reading~ *major glompage*
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
Haha thanks bb, glad to deliver the fluff. :D
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
Aww.. so sweet~ *_*
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
Thanks for reading, dear! ^^
(Deleted comment)
Apr 24 09 (UTC)
Ahah, thank you for being such an awesome reader! ^^
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
Oh, I always have mixed feelings about these kind of realistic fanfictions. I love them, but they pain me too. Because they don't paint everything a perfect picture, there is this distance between them, general fatigue with their, only perfect in magazines and young boy's dreams, rockstar life and it always seems like it could be close to their reality. It shows that nothing is perfect no matter how much you wish it could be. I loved BIAB part, Uruha sure doesn't do much on stage, while Aoi always seems so fueled up. I'll have to watch it again and look for their moment if there is any, I don't remember, I know there are photos :) I always love their moments, but they seem so rare. I liked the mention of Yune, I sometimes do wonder about him, would things be any different if he stayed, would Aoi be different, friendlier with others since he was his former bandmate. I wonder too much and think to much in my comment to your story. Sorry.

So the actual comment would be: beautiful story. It brought up the memory of Aoi's famous interview. I don't know is it just me but I found it sad in a way. It was just that tone of regret and wishing things were different but not being able to do anything. Although maybe they did manage to narrow that distance just a little bit near the end. Ending was really sweet, like salve on my wound, I don't know if it actually changed anything or tomorrow everything will be the same but just for that little moment in time, the image of two of them lying on that bed together was perfect. It also seemed like something that could have been happening before in the old days, cramming together in a narrow space, when they were closer. So it completed a circle for me.
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
Reality is never perfect D< *kicks reality*

Haha, god, I had SO many references for this fic. Main one is BIAB08 (srsly, that's my fave performance by them), then Aoi's musiQ interview, then that interview where they said Aoi always treated them out or smth. And yeah, Yune just had to pop up, because like what you said, I think Aoi might've been friendlier if he was still there.

LOL that is the whole point. One each at a time, remember? :D

And don't worry dear, huge comment makes my heart aflutter. ♥ Thank you very much.
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
Shit, huge comment is huge. Will you believe me if I say I was possessed :D
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Apr 23 09 (UTC)
D: What are you talking about. You talk to kindly about me Reniiiii~ but thanks anyway. I think you just want to get me to bed that's why you're saying those things. No, srsly, thanks a lot, you're words mean so much to me! It's working >D

AND YOU'RE MEM'ING THIS TOO? Okay, ILY Renii, ahahaha~

DAMMIT MUST YOU REALLY SHOUT THAT TO THE WORLD. I know I'm growing old ;_; And srs-- PRESENT? DO WANT. :DDDDDD I shall be waiting in our looooovechamber. xD

(Deleted comment)
Apr 25 09 (UTC)
I am really, really flattered. *hides*

WAIT I HAVE NOT YET RECEIVED ANY CARD. D: I shall pester the people in my apartment for it. >_<;;

Apr 23 09 (UTC)
;_; uaa, you can't leave it there!! m-moar?? please?
Apr 23 09 (UTC)
Ahah, let's just see if there would be more to this, ne? ^^

Thanks for reading, dear. =D
Apr 24 09 (UTC)
Wow. this is brilliant...!
I like how you ended it.

And he wondered where the ties between these five (or six; he did miss Yune at times) – once ambitious – young men had really gone; if it’s already gone with the wind, cut into pieces and forgotten already, or maybe still there, just waiting for a little pull.

and I like that line the best.
That was just what time does to every relationship. =)
Apr 24 09 (UTC)
I could only imagine how they feel. I mean, though the interviews that I read and watch give me some info about them, still, I wonder what really goes on in their minds when they think about each other. Time, and of course, their work.

Thank you for reading and commenting! ^^
Apr 24 09 (UTC)
the end was so cute *_* <3
I like the feeling of reality this had; as if it could really be happening this way... all the thinking about their relationship but not really getting around to doing something about it =)
Apr 25 09 (UTC)
Ahah, thank you very much! I like writing them like that too since we can all read from their interviews how they're not very close anymore. They need closeness, even just in fics. ♥
Apr 25 09 (UTC)
Note: Don't read this with sad music as your BGM. >__<;; Doesn't go well ;__;

Did I ever mention how much I like your stories with reference to their "real" lives? Because it could really be like that.. and this thought stuck to my mind like a little sad lump while reading.

But I really like how and where you put the different paragraphs and POVs. <3 So many things reminded me of actual interviews or performance scenes (BIAB = ♥)
I could quote the whole fic for favorite lines.. but the second and third (big) paragraph are definitely love. And the last two lines. ;_;♥

*rambles* *hugs* <3
Apr 27 09 (UTC)
DDDDDDDDDD: It's not supposed to be sad~

Well, I like making those 'real' fics too, then twisting them a bit so it becomes yaoi, ahah. And yeah, BIAB is so much love, I'm gonna watch it again tomorrow. ^^

*hugs back* Thank you for reading~ ♥
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