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花 言 葉 × h a n a k o t o b a
seems that soon i'll wither away without knowing the answer
Smile, Smile - Kai/Uruha (1/1) 
Jun 13 09
麗
Title: Smile, Smile
Chapter(s): 1/1
Author: xxshamisen
Genre: Angst
Rating: G
Warnings: None
Pairing: Kai/Uruha
Disclaimer: Real people, real circumstances, fake stories.
Summary: At the end of the day, they still weren't perfect anyway.
Comment: I challenged myself to make angst out of my 'cotton candy' pairing. The title comes from the anime Vandread, more specifically, it's the catchphrase of the character Gascogne Rheingau. For gazeroundrobin.






They were an imperfectly perfect couple. Still ostracized by some for falling in love with each other despite being both men, Kai and Uruha struggled with the judgmental looks and harsh comments that people threw at them. Some of the fans even hated them – going as far as hating the band – for coming out. But their friends were understanding, caring, and supporting. In the four years they’ve been together, everything seemed as smooth sailing as can be.

They drew an imperfectly perfect picture. The world always seemed to brighten up whenever they were around, and who really wouldn’t brighten up when they paraded in the room, all smiles, all laughs, all love? Kai loved to shower Uruha not only with the sweetness of his cakes but also the sweetness of his gestures, and Uruha always received them with an equally sweet smile. It was teeth-rotting, Ruki would always say with a nod, while it always wiped away Aoi’s grumpiness and fed Reita’s natural mushiness.

And they were able to maintain that for twenty-four hours a day, seven days a week, fifty-two weeks a year. Not once did Kai falter in drowning Uruha with gifts, not once did Uruha not thank Kai with an accommodating smile. Not even if Kai only did those things half-heartedly already, not even if Uruha was starting to get sick of the attention that he got. Needless to say they were only doing the things they do to keep appearances.

At the end of the day, they still weren't perfect anyway.

Kai continued to decorate the small cake that he had baked for Uruha’s twenty-eighth birthday, making sure it was extra colorful since he couldn’t take his lover out today. Uruha probably understood already; they were in the middle of preparing for their upcoming tour, after all. Once he’d finished it, he went out to the living room where Uruha lazily flipped through the channels, as always.

“Happy birthday Uruha,” the drummer chirped, though not as enthusiastic as he used to be, placing the cake down in the coffee table in front of his lover and totally blocking the television. The other didn’t seem to mind though.

Uruha watched Kai as he moved towards the couch, sitting beside him, but the brunet suddenly stood up and turned back to him. “Sorry, I forgot the forks, just wait a sec,” Kai said with an apologetic smile. Before he could move again Uruha grabbed his hand.

“Kai,” the guitarist said softly, his tone having an underlying hint of something. Smiling still, Kai sat back down on the couch and Uruha scooted away a little.

“What is it?”

Uruha let go of the younger’s hand and looked at him straight in the eye. “You don’t have to smile like that.”

His full lips curved into a bitter smile. Kai showed how he has truly felt in months.

In that one moment, everything was drowned out with the sound of obnoxious infomercials, one after the other.
Comments 
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
What I really liked about this was how others expectations somewhat put a strain on their relationship. How they were intially the perfect couple and theres a certain pressure to keep up appearances. one of my friends last year broke up with her bf because of that exact same problem.
you're like a fikku-spitting machine ._.' I'll go read your aoi/uruha after this...
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
Mmmyeah, the similar thing happened to one of my friends, actually, though they weren't pressured to keep an appearance. It's more like they were keeping the relationship because they wanted to prove that they could last long. :/

Myuu, I'm not. >_<;; I forced myself to write because I totally missed Uruha's birthday. >>;; I'm not even finished with that one yet~ ;_;
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
OH.
this was just. that last sentence. well delivered!
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
Ahah, thank you. :3
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
I love the way you managed to mash so much realism into this. Very nice.
“You don’t have to smile like that.”
Using this line as a turning point was brilliant. It's as though Uru's unfettering him from the emotional roller coaster - allowing him to drop the mask and be honest. The entire thing is simply beautiful. Thank you for sharing it. :)
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
Thank you very much, I'm very glad you liked it. ^^
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
;A;

It made me sad even reading the first parts, because I knew it wasn't going to end well.

But that last line was much more than what I expected.

Great job. ♥
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
>>;; Well, yeah. SORRY KAI/URU I'LL NEVER WRITE YOU THIS SAD AGAIN ;3; Okay maybe not xD

(Deleted comment)
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
I was actually gonna rate it as angsty fluff, but that wouldn't have made any sense xDD There are elements of fluff but they're not enough, I guess xD
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
Oh, I must admit that the reason to their unhappiness is lost on me. Could it be because of too much pressure they (Kai?) put on them to be prefect and always happy?

Uruha let go of the younger’s hand and looked at him straight in the eye. “You don’t have to smile like that.”
His full lips curved into a bitter smile. Kai showed how he has truly felt in months.

This was great, I love how Kai has a fake smile and how Uruha knows it.
Jun 13 09 (UTC)
Ah, the reason wasn't exactly mentioned in the fic, so you're free to think of what they could be. ^^ This one kinda just tells that the magic's already lost, or something along those lines ahah~
Jan 06 10 (UTC)
It was teeth-rotting, Ruki would always say with a nod, while it always wiped away Aoi’s grumpiness and fed Reita’s natural mushiness.

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAHAHHAAHAHAHAHAHHA! CRACKIEST PART OF THE FIC! OH, RUKI! :D

Uruha let go of the younger’s hand and looked at him straight in the eye. “You don’t have to smile like that.”

*smiles warmly* I loved the way Uruha is so understanding the whole time and being the one supporting them both more in the relationship because he does realize how vulnerable Kai can get although he tries his best to show to everyone that everything is ok. Indeed, the thought/scenario of the boys coming out would be DEVASTATING in real life and here Uruha did an AWESOME job being ALWAYS right next to Kai :) DAWWWWWWWWWWWW! *IS HIGH ON LOOOVE :D* They're together in this and actually voicing up that they're not alone, each one of them having to cope with coming out is beautiful. From this point on they'll be more comfortable together and they'll find a new power inside themselves :)
May 10 10 (UTC)
I like it. I very like it. I must read it two times. This how you told about their relationship. I love they are together 4 years and now they have 28 y.o. I like the way about fans and other reactions - it was realism. Hm.. And yea, one persn before me told - Kai can be really himself when he was with Uruha. Yeah, it is reality. This is the way which relationship goes on - honesty and partnership. But nevertheless I felt a bit sad - Kai seems to be a littel tired this.. game? Lies? Live with Uruha? Or maybe he's not? what did you mean?^^
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